


Treacherous

by alittlebitlove



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Prison, Angst, Bittersweet, Fluff, M/M, Sad!Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-13
Updated: 2013-01-13
Packaged: 2017-11-25 07:33:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/636578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittlebitlove/pseuds/alittlebitlove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Harry Styles volunteers to visit one person in prison who nobody visits on weekly basis, Harry expects psychotic and murderous men, not Louis Tomlinson - the broken boy who never smiles. Prison!AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	Treacherous

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how this really came to me. It just did, I guess. Inspired by prisons and Treacherous by Taylor Swift. Hope you enjoy. :) xx.

Harry didn’t know what he was getting himself into. Not really, anyway. He knew that everything involving criminals was dangerous and that there was a huge possibility he’ll end up with some psycho who’ll want to kill him or something, but he didn’t care somehow. Everyone needed someone to visit them, being they heartless murderers or not. So Harry volunteered. It was an easy decision. Once he got an offer, he accepted it. His mum kept telling him it wasn’t such a good choice and kept nagging him to drop it. But Harry was eighteen years old and he could make his own decisions without his mother’s approval.

 

So here he was, in one of the biggest prisons in the United Kingdom, sitting on an uncomfortable chair and waiting for guards to bring him someone to talk to. He would like to say he was comfortable. But he was far from it and honestly, he couldn’t wait to get it over with. He was also afraid because really, what if they bring him some freak that’ll threat to kill him? What if he’ll barely be able to handle these eight weeks ahead of him? What if he ended up being _killed?_ Okay, so, maybe he was overreacting. Still, he had every right to be scared. From the people like people in here, you never know what to expect. Harry was always a good one and he’d never done a crime in his life. He was studying law after all, and doing something criminal was the last thing on his mind. He liked justice and he liked that people weren’t so able to get away with everything. Of course, sometimes they did, but law was still helping a lot.

 

He put his sweaty palms on the desk in front of him. The desk was separated with one simple glass and there was only a phone by his left side. He could see all those people talking to someone and yeah, maybe he was a bit relieved there was at least something separating him from the prisoner that was about to come over. He felt safer, he won’t lie. Just when he was starting to feel a bit anxious, two guards got back with a _boy_ in the cuffs. Harry had to do everything in his power not to let his mouth drop open. The person in front of him was young – too young. Well, maybe he was older than Harry, but he still looked very, very young and very boyish and Harry couldn’t help but to feel sick. The boy sat and it was then that Harry could take a good look at him. His blue eyes were sad. Oh, they were so sad and tired and devastated. And his lips were pursued in thin line, not a hint of a smile in sight. His feathery hair was messy and dirty and it looked like he didn’t wash it for days. His thick, strong jaw was showing a determination and manliness and his facial hair was just adding up on it. He was breathtaking.

 

The guards freed his hands and then they were gone with a simple “You have ten minutes.” leaving two of them alone. The boy fumbled with his hands for a minute until he looked up at Harry and then the blue didn’t leave green. Harry took a deep breath and picked up the receiver and glued it to his ear. The boy has done the same. They were silent.

 

“Hello.” Harry whispered, staring at the boy through the thick glass.

 

“Hello.” His voice was high-pitched and raspy and it was cracking a bit at the end and Harry thought how he could listen to it for days.

 

“What’s your name?” His eyes never left the boy’s. It was like something was keeping them there and no, Harry just couldn’t stop.

 

“Louis. Louis Tomlinson.” He stopped for a moment. “Yours?” He asked, sounding unsure, like he thought that maybe he wasn’t allowed to ask him that. Harry felt sorry for the lad.

 

“My name is Harry Styles.” He said, not sure what to say next. He didn’t know how much he was allowed to say to a boy- Louis. He wasn’t sure how comfortable Louis was with the words and talking about everything and Harry just didn’t wanna push too far. Fortunately, Louis was the one to talk next.

 

“Harry… that’s a nice name. It goes with your hair.” The glint in his eyes was there, a small one though, but no smile. And it bothered Harry. He didn’t know why though. Maybe it was because it looked wrong.

 

“I guess I have a lot of hair, yeah. How long have you been here?” He asked bluntly and Louis visibly flinched. Maybe he was too forward and he was about to take his words back when Louis seemed calm, all of the sudden, and he answered.

 

“I’ve been here for two months now. Still have ten years to go though, so those two months seem like they didn’t pass at all.” His face stayed expressionless, like he didn’t care. Harry visibly gulped. Ten years. If Louis got ten years then he must’ve done something horrible. Harry didn’t even want to imagine, let alone ask. It was too early for that. So he changed the subject.

 

“How old are you?” He asked the first question that came into his mind. He knew that he could only shock himself more because if Louis was too young then… well, Harry didn’t really know what he was going to find. Louis didn’t answer straight away. For a good minute, he just stared at Harry. No, he _studied_ him. Harry could see his crystal blue eyes roaming through his face, looking at every inch of it – like he was trying to see something. Harry didn’t know what. But he let him.

 

“I’m twenty-two.” He said quietly into the receiver. He looked down into the other hand which was resting on the desk, like he was ashamed. He didn’t look like a criminal.

 

“You’re young.” Harry stated matter-of-factly. He looked younger, Harry decided. He looked almost fragile and, even though he was older than Harry for four years, Harry couldn’t help but to feel older.

 

“Yeah… and you do shit when you’re young. Only I got a bit overboard with it.” He laughed humourlessly, a laugh sounding unnatural. Harry flinched. His tone was bitter, too sarcastic and too honest. Harry’s mind was completely blurred.

 

“I’m…”

 

“You don’t have to say anything. After all, you know nothing, I suppose. They don’t usually tell what we’ve done and everything. And no, I’m not going to tell you. Not now, at least. I’m not ready to say it because then, it’s even more of a truth than it was before and maybe I like this little fantasy I’m living in right now. Just know one thing, Harry, I’m not going to hurt you. No matter what I’ve done in the past, I’m not the person who’ll hurt innocent people. I’m not asking you to understand, nor I’m expecting that, but eight weeks later, you’ll be free and all I’m asking right now is for you to talk to me. That’s the only thing I need.” He said with the tone almost demanding. The only thing Harry could do was nod, agree and hope Louis was right. Then again, Harry didn’t expect anything else. Louis’d seemed nice enough – nice enough for Harry to survive these eight weeks. After all, he’d only visit him once every week and that shouldn’t be hard, especially if Louis was going to talk. Louis needed to talk to somebody. He was lonely, Harry could see that much and Louis’ words only confirmed it.

 

“Okay. Okay, yeah, I can do that. I’m not here to judge you, nor am I here to try to tell you how wrong you were to do whatever you did. I’m here to be your friend and I hope you’ll accept me. I just want to help you in a way that you’re not lonely anymore – at least for these eight weeks. Thank you for letting me do that. I appreciate it.” Maybe Harry didn’t know what to say exactly and maybe everything from his mouth came as jumble of unrelated phrases and words, but he hoped Louis got the message because that was the only thing he cared about at the moment.

 

Louis nodded. “I want that too. It is lonely here indeed. Especially when you’re surrounded by guys that only want your throat ripped out. That’s not exactly my perspective of fun, to be honest.” Harry snorted and shook his head, just discovering the boy’s almost weird sense of humour.

 

“I bet. My life’s not really fun either. I’m studying law in Uni and all I have to do is work, work, work and study, study, study, so this seems like a good distraction from all of it. You know, I thought I’ll get some psycho who’ll want to strangle me to death or something, but you really aren’t that bad.” He said, smiling just a bit, the dimple on his left cheek showing just a bit. It seemed like it caught Louis’ attention. He wasn’t wrong.

 

“You have dimples!” He sounded almost fascinated. “That’s cute.” Still no smile, only raised eyebrows. “Yeah, well, I guess I’m not like one of those, aren’t I? You’re lucky though. There are quite a few psychos you really don’t want to have business with.” Just as Harry was about to answer, a guard came to them and told them they’re time is up. Louis looked sad, but maybe Harry’s eyes were just playing tricks with him. He sighed and smiled.

 

“I guess I’ll see you next week, then. Goodbye, Louis.”

 

“Goodbye, Harry.” They hung up at the same time.

*

“So tell me something about yourself, Harry.” It was the first thing Louis asked once they said their respective hellos a week later. The question caught Harry by surprise, but he didn’t let it shake him.

 

“Well, I was born in Homes Chapel in Cheshire, I have mum Anne and older sister Gemma who’s real pain in the ass, but she’s still overprotective over me and all of that. I’m eighteen and I already told you I’m studying law. I moved to London once I finished high school and here I am now.” He shrugged and he was almost sure Louis followed the move with his eyes.

 

“Well that’s nice. I’m glad that at least one of us has a nice life. Lucky you.” He sounded wishful and if it made Harry feel sad, you couldn’t exactly blame him. He felt sorry for the boy, in some way. He shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t because he was in prison and that meant he did something worth going to prison for. Harry shouldn’t feel pity. That’s not something you feel for criminals.

 

“Yeah, I guess I am lucky. But not everything’s so easy. Maybe the puzzles in my life did arrange somehow, but I still had to work for it.” Maybe he sounded a bit harsh, but Louis wasn’t making it easy for him. He shouldn’t feel sorry for the boy. He should be defending his life and think of the fact that Louis did something horrible. Harry’s mind was telling him one thing till his heart was telling another. Harry didn’t know which one to trust.

 

“I know. I never said anything about hard work. I believe you didn’t get here just by the pure luck. You don’t look like the kind of person that would just take what’s offered and never lifted a finger.” Okay, so, maybe Harry shouldn’t have judged Louis so easily, but he didn’t know anything about him and he should think about himself first. Right?

 

“Thank you.” It was the first thing he thought of saying. “I… I’ll try not to judge you from now on. Maybe I was thinking too much ahead. Sometimes I tend to do that. Even though I talk slowly, I still know to speak before I think. I just… yeah.” Louis shook his head, almost in disbelief and Harry was a bit confused because those pouty lips still didn’t stretch into smile. Harry just didn’t understand.

 

“It’s fine, Harry. I, out of all the people, should know that the best.” He didn’t give further explanation and Harry didn’t ask. Maybe it was too early. They still had time. Maybe, when they knew each other well enough, Louis will open up and Harry will see the real him. Not this façade. Harry just wanted something. He wanted something real and he hoped that Louis will give him a chance. He didn’t have the answer why though.

 

“Do you have anyone to hang out with here?” It was the first thing that got into Harry’s mind because it would be quite sad if Louis was always alone. Harry didn’t want to imagine how it would be in prison. He was sure he didn’t want to. He would probably go mad here and no, he definitely didn’t want that. Even week visits made him a bit nauseous. A prison wasn’t a place for Harry Styles (if it was the place for anyone really).

 

“Yeah, well, there’s this guy Zayn who is nice enough. He won’t stay here for such a long time though. He only has six months, now five, so I’ll be all by myself again after he leaves. Or I’ll find somebody else who isn’t really nuts like everybody else. I don’t know. I’m surviving.” Harry noticed that Louis’ hair was cleaner than a week before, and fluffier. Harry liked it. “And you? With whom you’re hanging with?”

 

“Uhm, well, I have these friends Niall and Nick. They aren’t really in any of my classes, but we go to the same Uni, so we met. I actually share a flat with Nick. They’re really nice lads and I don’t think I would survive without them in London, to be honest.” Louis nodded. He looked like he’s in a deep thought until he didn’t blurt out the most absurd question.

 

“Are you gay?” Harry’s eyes widened comically, thinking that maybe he heard wrong. But Louis’ blue eyes were serious with not a hint of humour in them and they seem to always be like that, but Harry knew he wasn’t joking.

 

“Erm, yeah, yeah I am.” He could feel himself blushing and if that didn’t make him look like absolute idiot, he didn’t know what did.

 

“And you’re single?” To say that Harry was confused as fuck was an understatement. But he still decided to answer the question, no matter how surprising and absurd it sounded. He thought that it must be the part of Louis’ personality – asking personal questions out of nowhere and making people uncomfortable. Harry wasn’t sure that he liked it.

 

“I am.” He gulped. “Why are you asking me this?” He asked with raised eyebrows, getting a bit amused once he saw that Louis was blushing now too. Maybe it was worth it.

 

“Because… well, because I’m gay too and I wanted to know if I can talk to someone about hot guys without feeling like a freak. I freaked Zayn out enough. Obviously that’s the reason.” He coughed awkwardly and Harry couldn’t help himself but to laugh loudly because, obviously, Louis was lying. At least a bit.

 

“Are you trying to seduce me, Mr Tomlinson?” He asked teasingly and Louis blushed even more – if that was possible. Okay, so Louis could be a fun lad. Maybe it wasn’t going to be so bad. Before Louis had a time to answer though, the guard – who Harry learned was named Liam – came to their desk and told them it was time to go. They said their goodbyes and if they stared at each other for a second too long, they never said anything.

*

When Harry showed up the next time, Louis was already there. He was looking at him intensively as Harry was sitting down and he felt judged by his gaze. He didn’t know why though. He picked up the receiver at that same time as Louis and smiled softly.

 

“Hey. How’s it going?” He started like that, not really sure in what kind of mood Louis was. Louis was unreadable. His expression was always blank and his eyes always sad. Harry didn’t like that. It made him feel unsettled and he just wanted to see past that expression. He knew he wouldn’t get that soon though.

 

“It’s going fine, I guess. I mean, you can’t really be fine in prison. Who’s been your fancy University life going?” He asked with a glint of amusement in his blue eyes. Harry wanted to see it more, even though he didn’t smile. It was as close to a smile as he was going to get – or he thought so. He didn’t know Louis long enough to know how often he smiled. Maybe he really never smiled and that was what was worrying Harry the most. Everyone should smile and just thinking that the gorgeous man in front of him never did was simply devastating. Maybe it was stupid and he should just let it go, but there was something that Harry just couldn’t shake off and his mind kept coming back to the boy who didn’t smile.

 

“It’s not that fancy, y’know. It’s far from it actually. Just studying and working and no rest at all. But I’m managing. I always wanted to be a lawyer, so I guess that helps.” He chuckled with no apparent reason, but it didn’t seem like Louis gave it a much thought.

 

“That’s great, I guess. I must be taking your time from studying though. You know you can actually quit, right? You’re not really obliged to spend here all eight weeks. If I’m too annoying or something, you can go.” The fact that Harry could sense in Louis’ tone that Louis didn’t want that was kind of shocking. Maybe he was imagining it, but somehow he was sure he didn’t. Louis didn’t want him to do that and, if he was being honest with himself, he didn’t want to stop visiting him either. The man has grown to him and he couldn’t step back so easily.

 

“No, no. I don’t want that. I want to keep visiting you. And besides, I’m getting extra credit for doing this, so that’s the bonus too. You’re not bad, Louis. Actually, I quite enjoy talking to you. You’re a great break from studying. Don’t worry, okay?” He said and smiled with assurance. It was then that Harry, for the first time, got the desire to touch Louis’ hand. He didn’t understand why.

 

“Thank you. I’m somehow glad, y’know? You’re not bad yourself either, so that makes things easier for both of us.” Harry laughed. “Anyways, mind telling me what’s going on outside of these walls? I don’t actually have access to anything, so it’s more like I’m stuck in past or something. It’s not really fun.” Harry’s laugh turned into a simple smile that brightened up his eyes because Louis was just so curious. Harry didn’t know why he exactly found it so damn adorable.

 

“Well, Kate Middleton is pregnant, I don’t know if you heard it, Justin Bieber apparently smoked weed and his fans are going mad, like, it’s not funny at all… uhm, there were some terrible masochists doing really horrible murders that I don’t even want to mention and I don’t know. Same old, same old I guess.” He didn’t know what to say anymore, especially when he wasn’t paying attention on news himself – not much at least. He still tried to lighten up the mood. He didn’t know if it was working.

 

“Well, that’s something. I’m not missing out any new, modern discoveries, right?” The mischief in his eyes was clear as sky and Harry loved that spark. It gave Louis somehow new look – the younger one – and maybe that made Harry feel better. Maybe it made him forget that Louis was in prison and they were talking over a phone and a glass. He liked it that way, too.

 

“Nope. As far as I can tell, at least. I mean, they can’t discover much in two months, you know? You weren’t gone for _that_ long.” He made it sound as casual as he could, but he could still see Louis’ obvious flinch and maybe he was wrong to mention it after all. Just as he was about to apologise, Louis spoke, his voice obviously shaken. Harry’s interest in Louis’ case only grew stronger though.

 

“Erm, yeah, sorry. I lost a track on time, I guess. If that’s even possible.” He laughed bitterly and Harry got just a glimpse of how could Louis’ real laugh sound like. Then, Louis’s done something Harry thought will never see. He whipped away the tear that fell from his eye and it was then that Harry noticed his eyes that were shining with tears and suddenly, Harry felt like crying too. “I’m sorry, I… This usually doesn’t happen. Ever. And now… I don’t know what the problem is.” Harry wanted to hold his hand again.

 

“Hey, it’s okay. Let it out. I won’t judge you. It’s okay to cry. You don’t have to hold it in yourself all the time and, even though I can’t really understand, I can try. I’m here, okay?” And god how he wanted for that glass not to be there. He wondered when he’d started thinking that way. Was it just now or did he always wanted to reach out for Louis? Why did he want that, anyway? When did he start to feel this… this desire? His head started spinning from all the question he didn’t have an answer to and he didn’t approve it one bit. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to calm his racing thoughts.

 

“Thank you so much.” Louis’ voice was barely a whisper and, just like always, it seemed, a guard stopped them before Harry had a chance to answer. Louis quickly whipped away few more tears that escaped his bright eyes before saying goodbye to Harry. Harry watched them as they took him back to his cell and if he felt a stinging pain in his chest, he pretended it wasn’t there.

*

Harry was nervous. Well, more nervous than usual, at least. He didn’t know exactly why because he had nothing to worry about, right? It’ll be same as always. They’ll talk for ten minutes about nothing and everything and then he’ll leave and everything will be absolutely same as before. It definitely didn’t have nothing to do with the fact he wanted to see the boy. He missed him, but he would never admit that out loud. He shouldn’t miss him. He was a prisoner. He’d done something terrible and Harry should think about that, not about how sweet and handsome and _fragile_ he was. Those weren’t the thoughts Harry should be having. And still, here he was, thinking only of that while sitting in the chair, waiting for Louis to join him. This time, he wasn’t here and guards went to get him. It was stupid that he couldn’t wait to see him, it really was.

 

He’d appeared after another minute, looking exhausted and maybe a bit lost. Harry didn’t know why. He sat down and once his hands were free of cuffs, he picked up the receiver and Harry followed after him.

 

“Hi. You look tired.” Harry blurted out without much of a thinking, but it looked like Louis didn’t mind much, so Harry probably didn’t rush too much with question. He was just really concerned for him. And he didn’t like being concerned, so he couldn’t wait for Louis to clear everything up. That was the only reason. Really.

 

“Yeah, well, I had a workout five minutes ago and I’m still not quite _there_ because, fuck, that’s exhausting, so yeah… I’m tired.” Okay. It was all okay and Harry was relieved. He let out a relieved sigh and smiled a bit.

 

“Exercise isn’t so bad for your body, y’know. It can only do you good. The moment you get used to it, it’ll get better, believe me.” Louis raised his eyebrows like he didn’t really believe him and then shook his head. Harry didn’t really know what all of that was about.

 

“I was never good at it, so that clearly isn’t the truth for me. But you, Styles, seem to have quite a body. Or am I wrong?” He pouted and rested his head on the other hand, faking his amusement. It was an understatement that Harry laughed because the sight in front of him was simply ridiculous. Not that he minded much.

 

“Well, that could be discussed. I don’t know, I don’t workout _that_ much, but more when I feel like it. If that makes any sense.“ Right now, everything made sense in his head, so he really couldn't be all that sure.

 

„It makes perfect sense, Hazza, don't worry. And before you ask, Hazza is my nickname for you. Took me long enough to think of it, if I’m being honest. I still don’t know if that’s embarrassing or not, but whatever, I guess.” He shrugged and Harry smiled widely because the nickname was perfect and maybe he loved it a bit too much and maybe he felt more than flattered. He pushed all of that away. Then he gulped, remembering what he wanted to ask since the day one he came here, but never dared. Maybe… maybe now Louis will open up a bit more to him and will be willing to say to him at least something. Harry hoped so.

 

“Louis, I… I wanted to ask you something, if that’s okay with you. I mean, if you don’t want to answer me, that’s fine, but I just thought that it would be nice to, well, know the reason why I’m here. No. Wait. What I meant to say was, uhm, why do you have no one who visits you?” His voice turned into a whisper at the end of the sentence, his eyes escaping the blue ones and looking down. He could feel the blush forming on his neck and cheeks and he didn’t like it one bit. The only thing he could hear on the other end of the line was breathing – a bit fastened and a bit terrified. Harry didn’t want to look up.

 

“That’s very personal question, you know.” Louis’ small voice said. Harry could feel it trembling and everything he didn’t want to feel. He didn’t want to upset him. He didn’t want to loose Louis’ trust and he felt like he was about to loose just that. “But I’ll tell you.” Harry finally looked up. Louis never looked more broken than now and Harry felt his heart breaking as well. The sight before him was devastating. “What I did is… that’s unthinkable. I swear I never intended to do such thing. I was always a good guy. I never had problems with police or any other legal department. I was studying Drama and everything was the way it was supposed to be. But that one night something just happened. I can’t describe it because I know you won’t understand. It was horrible and it still is and I could never forgive myself for it. After that, my family abandoned me. They didn’t want to have anything with me ever again. I understand them, somehow, no matter how much it hurts. I’m a criminal and I am destined to be alone. I have no one now, and that’s fine, I swear. Sometimes it gets lonely, but for that, I have you and Zayn and you make it up for it. I’m grateful for it, really. Not everyone would just want to talk to criminals. You’re different, Harry, so thank you.” His lips were pursued into a straight line, but his eyes were thanking and it was almost enough. Harry didn’t know how he was doing – how he was getting through all of this without his family. No matter how much someone had screwed up, he should have family by his side. There was another ache in his stomach as he felt sorry for the man in front of him once again. He didn’t know it’d be like this. He really didn’t.

 

“I’m so sorry, Louis.” He croaked through tears that were now freely running down his cheeks. “You don’t deserve that. No one does. And especially not you. I’ll be here. I’ll be here as long as you want me to be. I promise you that.” And with that promise, he left their forth meeting. Maybe he was wrong, but he was almost sure he saw Louis smile. But he could never be sure.

*

The fifth week. It was already their fifth week and Harry found it hard to believe. The time was passing faster than he expected it to and he didn’t think he quite liked that. No matter how hard he tried to deny it, he loved spending time with Louis. The more he got to know the lad, the more he liked him and the more he could forget about the fact where he was. He could forget about the fact that Louis was criminal – most likely a murderer – and even though that may be a bad thing, it didn’t seem like one in Harry’s mind right now. He let it go. At least for a bit. At least till he’s visiting him because he knew that if his thoughts go too far, he won’t be able to concentrate and just enjoy Louis’ company. He kept gushing about him to Niall, so Niall started calling him ‘lost puppy in love’ and he wouldn’t let it go, no matter how many times Harry said it wasn’t like that. Niall was so sure in that that he teased him about it every day. But when Harry finally said that he thinks something _was_ going on in that weird head of his and that he wasn’t sure what exactly it was, Niall comforted him, telling him it was fine to fall in love. Niall believed in Harry’s words. He believed Louis was a good man, so Harry guessed that was why he was saying that. Not that he exactly minded. But he wasn’t in love. He maybe, just maybe, liked Louis in some kind of way and that was all that was there.

 

He greeted Louis once he picked up the receiver, a smile plastered on his face. He didn’t even try to hold it a bit back, seeing as Louis never smiled. He just felt like smiling, so he did just that. Louis made him smile and he hoped that the older lad will see that. He really did hope that he meant something to Louis and that Louis wasn’t lying. Then again, why would he?

 

“How was your week?” Harry asked, his jaw on his hand as he watched Louis’ painfully blank expression. He wanted to break it somehow, but he knew that he didn’t have that kind of power over Louis. He couldn’t just make him feel happiness. He knew that it wasn’t working like that and maybe that bothered him, but he tried to ignore it as best as he could.

 

“Fine. Zayn taught me to style my hair into a quiff. You wouldn’t believe it, but they actually gave us a gel when we pleaded them for an hour. I don’t exactly know how, but whatever. Anyways, it’s too much of a bother for me to do it, so I just let Zayn do it when he feels like it. Obviously, he’s not feeling like doing it today. Not that I blame him really. It takes literally hours to do it right. But he’s some kind of hairstylist or something and he loves to do it so it’s not really that hard for him to do it. That was his job for years and-“ Harry let out a loud laugh, covering his mouth with his hand because it was definitely too loud for a prison. “What?” Louis looked like a confused kitten and Harry couldn’t help but to think how expression on his face was adorable.

 

“You’re rambling.” He said simply. A realization hit Louis and his eyebrows went up to his fringe even more than they already did.

 

“Oh. Sorry. I didn’t realize I talked so much. Really, didn’t mean to.”

 

“Louis, it’s fine. You can ramble all you want. I don’t mind. In fact, I find it quite amusing, so if you ever again feel like it, just ramble. I promise I won’t stop you next time.” He smiled with assurance and damn, that hand was so far away from his reach. Just like always. Harry just wanted for damned glass to be removed. It was annoying.

 

“Okay then. Thank you. I don’t think you know how much this means to me. And, if I say it too much, or if I say it too little, I’m sorry because of it. But… you really did change this space to me and made it’s easier to get through everything. I feel like I owe you a lot.” Harry let out a shaky breath that felt like he was holding it longer than he actually did. Louis’ words always got him in the most unexpected moments and he didn’t know if he liked it or hated it.

 

“You don’t owe me anything, Louis. I’m glad that I can be able to be here for you, when you don’t really have so much people to turn to. I’m glad that I’m here. You’re… you’re simply amazing and I don’t think there is another word to describe you.” Suddenly, Louis’ eyes went dark and his expression changed completely. He looked almost mad. Harry didn’t know why. He didn’t understand. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to understand.

 

“I’m not amazing. I’m so far away from it. You have no idea what I’ve done, Harry. To those people… I’m a murderer. A coldblooded murderer. My family had every right to get rid of me. I killed those two guys, so easily. Taking the knife in my hands and stabbing them in the heart was so easy. Instead of calling a police, I killed them. And it felt _good._ It felt good, Harry! I couldn’t stop myself. I couldn’t control myself. Once I began, it was all over. Maybe they did break into a fucking store, but I shouldn’t have killed them. But I did. And I enjoyed it. And I deserve to be here. I deserved this punishment. So Harry, no, I’m not amazing. I’m just a murderer that would probably do it again if he had a chance, no matter how much regret I feel.” To say that Harry was stunned with Louis’ confession was an understatement. He was shaking along with Louis. He was crying along with Louis. And he didn’t try to stop himself. Louis was a murderer. He killed two people. Two people who robbed the store. Two people who could easily just be arrested by the police. Louis killed them. And he said it felt good. And he said he would do it again. It was too much for Harry. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to feel. His feelings were mixed. His brain was numb. He couldn’t wrap his head around it. He just couldn’t believe it. He expected Louis to be a murderer. Hell, he even prepared himself for it. But when he heard Louis actually saying it – when he heard who much he liked it – it was more than a shock.

 

“Louis, I-“

 

“No. Don’t say anything. Just go home. If you don’t want to come back next week, I’ll understand. Clear your head and… I know it’s hard to hear this and if I was on your place I would probably never get back. If you don’t, I’ll understand.” So Harry left then, thinking what the hell we’ll do next.

*

Okay, so, this was unexpected. He decided just two days earlier that there is no way he was going back. It was all too much to handle and he definitely didn’t like the fact that he was feeling something for a man. He didn’t feel hatred. He didn’t feel disgust. And that was worrying. Because he had to. He was a law student, for fuck’s sake, and he knew what it meant to kill two people over something as small as robbery. He knew how _wrong_ this completely was and that he should stop. But, then again, he expected something like this. He thought that Louis has done something similar. What he didn’t expect thought, was that Louis liked it. He thought that he’s done it for a better reason. He thought that he felt full-on regret and that he didn’t think of doing it again. He was wrong. His opinions and analyses were wrong and he felt betrayed. Because he thought he knew the man behind the glass. He thought that maybe he was different from all the other criminals in there. But he was the same.

 

So Harry really didn’t know what the fuck he was doing here again – sitting on a same chair as always, waiting for the same man as always. The only difference was that now, he was terrified – terrified of Louis and what he might do to him. Okay, he knew he won’t do anything, but his nerves were getting the best of him and he had no idea what he can expect anymore.

 

When he saw Louis, his heart started beating faster and his eyes widened to the point where he started to feel the pain. Louis picked up the receiver first. Harry did seconds later.

 

“You came.” Louis breathed out. He sounded almost relieved. Maybe Harry was only imagining it though. He could never know. He stared at Louis for some time, not uttering a word more. He didn’t know what to say exactly. He was tongue-tied. And staring at Louis’ blue eyes didn’t help the case either. So Louis continued. “I… I know that was a shock for you. I get it, okay? I didn’t expect you to ever come back. I made that clear last week. But you did. And even if it’s just so you can get your extra credit or whatever, I don’t care. You came back and that’s all that matters.” Hearing the man in front of him saying those hopeful, caring words broke something in Harry. He didn’t know what and he didn’t quite understand it, but from that moment on, he knew that he wanted. He knew what he _needed._ And he didn’t need to think anymore.

 

“Louis.” He breathed out. “I’m not here for extra credit. I’m not here to get something out of it. I don’t need that. That doesn’t matter to me. I’m here because I care too much about you. Yeah, you did something horrible and maybe you enjoyed it, but… I realized that I can’t let you go. Not so easily anyways. Maybe I should be smarter and just stop coming back here. But I can’t. You’re like some sort of addiction. And I still think you’re amazing, Louis. No matter the things you’ve done in the past, you are. And I’ll be here for you – just like I said. I will only leave if you want me to. Just say the words, and I will. But if you have no problem with me coming here, at least for another two weeks, I will.” And then, Louis was suddenly smiling through all those tears. He was smiling – widely, his eyes crinkled at the ends and if that wasn’t the most beautiful thing Harry has ever seen, he didn’t know what it was. He let out a short laugh, covering his eyes with his hands, like he’s ashamed of them. Or crinkles. Or maybe because he’s smiling so widely that Harry though universe will burst. It was beautiful. “You’re smiling. Oh my god, you’re smiling.” He blurted out and Louis peaked out through his fingers, watching him with the same smile still on his face.

 

“Why did you say that?” He asked simply.

  
“You never smile. I never saw you smile before and now you’re smiling and, gosh, it’s so beautiful.” So maybe he didn’t really thought of what he was saying and maybe he wouldn’t say the same thing if he was in the right state of his mind, but could you really blame here? The boy he had never seen smile, finally smiled. And it was all because of Harry’s words. It made him feel special. It made him feel important and Harry could give a less care in the world right now.

 

“T-thank you. I… I thought I shouldn’t smile because I’m here and I’m a criminal and if I smile everyone would think I’m bursting from happiness because of what I did.” He shrugged nonchalantly, but Harry could see right through it. Louis cared more than he shoved and Harry was slowly started to learn his expressions. It wasn’t easy.

 

“Goodness, Louis, no. Just because you’re here doesn’t mean you should stop smiling. Everyone should smile, no matter what they did. You have a gorgeous smile. Please, Louis, smile more. People should be able to see that smile of yours more often.” And then they were both smiling at each other. Those smiles were saying everything they wanted to say. It was enough. They understood each other through them. They understood each other in simplest gestures and maybe they didn’t want to admit that. Maybe they didn’t know how to explain it. Maybe they were scared shitless of it, but what mattered was that they were here and they were together. And maybe they both wanted the fucking glass to be gone. But this was enough. It was the only way they could communicate and even though it wasn’t much, it was something. There was something they could hold on to. And maybe, one day, they’ll be able to get to touch each other. Now, this was all they had.

 

“You are too sweet for your own good, you know that, right Hazza?” Harry had beamed and nodded enthusiastically, not even thinking that maybe he looked a bit like a maniac.

 

“You’re not so bad yourself, you know.” From then on, they continued their light banter, talking about Louis’ “exhausting” exercises, Harry’s time at Uni, Niall and all his loudness, Zayn and all his weirdness (or not really) and Liam, who they both got used to. And when Liam came and told them their time is up, they said their respective goodbyes, smiling at each other like it was the only thing that matter in the world. Well, maybe it was.

*

Louis’ eyes are kinda nice. And his smile is more than nice. And his lips are kinda kissable. And his cheekbones and collarbones and kinda marvellous. His personality is also kinda mesmerizing. And his hands are small, Harry noticed. And it would fit perfectly between his quite large ones. Harry knew he was daydreaming. And that wasn’t good because Louis will be here any minute. And he shouldn’t think about him in that way. Mostly because Louis was, well, behind the bars and he was unreachable. And the second reason was because he only saw Harry as a friend. So there was no chance for Harry. Why he bothered, he didn’t know either.

 

“Hi.” He greeted once Louis was on the other line. Louis smiled, almost shyly, and ducked his head a little before greeting back. “Guess what? I got an A!” Harry said excitedly, beaming a bit too much, but that made Louis only smile wider, so Harry knew he was doing somehow right thing.

 

“From that assignment? Really? I’m so glad, Hazza! You’ve been a good boy! I’m so proud of you.” He said in a joking manner, but Harry could sense honesty there as well. It made him even happier and he didn’t know how that was even possible. Well, many things were, so he guessed that wasn’t so weird.

 

“Aww, look at you being all cute. Isn’t that just adorable?” Louis blushed and then shook his head in disbelief, looking at Harry from the corner of his eye.

 

“I’m adorable, huh? Nice to hear that, really. You’re adorable too.” He protruded and after it smiled cheekily, teasing him and making him uncomfortable. Harry wasn’t sure he minded so much. Even though Louis’ words made him squirm in his seat and make his pale cheeks turn crimson red, there was something that was quite pleasant in it. It was a weird feeling. Also, his stomach was acting funnily. He ignored that one bit.

 

“What? Are we getting all sweet now? Wow, Lou, that’s whole other level for you.” Louis shrugged again – it was becoming a habit already – and moved his head a little closer to the glass.

 

“Wish I could touch you.” He said quietly and put his small hand against the glass, occupying only a tiny bit of the glass. Harry stared at it for a while, not sure what to do next or if Louis was going to move it. But when he didn’t do so, Harry got brave and put his against his side of the glass. It was incredible. The hand so big was covering the hand so small almost completely. You could barely see Louis’ hand and somehow, it made Harry smile. They would fit together perfectly. He wished he could wrap his fingers around Louis’ and hold them forever. He wished he could look at Louis without a reflection mirroring his eyes in a manner that didn’t do it justice. Harry wished a lot of things and these ones were the only ones that mattered right now.

 

He didn’t know how long they stared at their hands. It was a long time. Both of them didn’t move them, too fascinated with the sight in front of their eyes. Harry squeezed the glass, hoping that it’ll disappear miraculously. It didn’t. “I wish that too.” He whispered softly and looked towards Louis, who was now looking at him and their gazes stayed locked together. Harry thought his heart will burst from his chest. It was beating so loudly he was almost sure Louis could hear it. He forgot about the receiver in his hand and all that mattered was _LouisLouisLouis._ And his eyes, and hands, and his beauty, and his smile and the way he made Harry feel. It was all there, but Harry was still afraid. He was afraid of these feelings that were getting out more and more. And he wasn’t sure he wanted that so much. Because he knew it was impossible. There was nothing they could do. They were here where they were. Harry almost wished he committed some kind of crime so he could be closer to Louis. But he knew that Louis wouldn’t want that and, well, he didn’t really want that either. He swallowed and let out a shaky breath. Everything was too overwhelming.

 

“I… I don’t… can we save this for the next week?” Louis asked weakly and Harry was relieved – again. He didn’t think he would be able to speak now – especially not about something as difficult as feelings for a certain prisoner – and he was glad Louis was on the same page. Or the similar one at least.

 

“Yeah, yeah, good. I agree.” They dropped their hands, even though they both didn’t want that. Harry knew they didn’t have much time anymore, so he decided to hurry. “I, uhm, what I wanted to originally say today is that… well, this is our seventh week and I only have one more week and it kind of seems weird. I got used to this. I got used to spending my Wednesdays here. It became a habit, I guess.” He snorted a laugh. “And, I don’t know, I’ll miss you. I… I know it sounds weird but-“

 

“No. Stop. Look, let’s just leave it for the last week? All of it? I don’t want hurtful goodbyes – not right now. I just want to spend my week in a dreamland where you’re going to keep coming and where the end is not near. I’m sorry if I sound harsh, but that’s the only truth. I’ll miss you too, my dear Hazza, but we’ll leave it for later, shall we?” He offered a smile that didn’t quite reached his eyes and Harry knew this was hard for him. So he nodded and smiled and when Liam said that it’s time to go, just like always, he said his goodbye that seemed more final than it should’ve been and then he was gone. With only one week left, Harry didn’t know exactly what he was to do.

*

He had a quiff. And it looked good. In fact, Harry stayed breathless. Louis usually looked more than gorgeous, don’t get him wrong, but Harry had never seen him look somehow styled and with the new hairstyle he looked dashing. Harry smiled brightly at him, even though he felt the ache in his stomach because this was his last week with Louis. He didn’t feel good about it. He wished they had more time. He wished that time didn’t fly by so fast. It didn’t seem like eight weeks. It really didn’t. Or, at least, it didn’t to Harry. It all ended too fast and Harry didn’t like that. He wished he could have Louis by his side all the time. He wished to never let him go.

 

Harry accepted his feelings on Sunday afternoon just when he cried his eyes out on Niall’s chest, who had more patience than Harry could ever expect him to have. He knew that he would go crazy with himself if he was in Niall’s position, so he was grateful nonetheless. Niall was a true friend to Harry and he really didn’t know what he would do without him. Niall comforted him – told him it was okay. Told him that we didn’t choose who we fall in love with. It came naturally. Harry didn’t expect it. He didn’t expect to fall in love with a prisoner – with a broken hearted murderer. Just thinking of it sent shivers down his spine. It was still a bit unreal. He always thought he will find some bloke who maybe was studying law and that was almost the same person as Harry. Not total opposite. But, the more he thought about it, the more he could see how many similarities Louis and he had. No matter the law, no matter the criminal. They always had subjects to talk about and they never got bored of each other. It was hard to explain. People, who never experienced something like that, could never understand. For Harry, two receivers and one glass was enough. It was crazy and it was maybe even stupid, but it was love. It almost sounded simple. Harry accepted it and went on with his life – or at least for another three days. And then, the Wednesday was here and Harry was going to see Louis and he was going to confess everything to him. Even though it was worthless and he knew nothing will come out of it, maybe he’ll feel better the once he does it.

 

So here he was, watching Louis walking towards him, with his styled hair and the smile that could bright up the whole room. It was like he tried extra hard. Harry wouldn’t be so surprised if he made Zayn do him his hair. It wouldn’t be the first time. Louis just had that kind of influence on people. They would give in to everything he would ask them to do. That was something Harry had learned through his time here. And Harry wasn’t exception of that rule, he was sure.

 

“Hello, my dear Hazza.” He greeted him almost too happily, but Harry didn’t argue. They were here, right now, and that was all that mattered.

  
“Hello, Lou.” He said and smiled a little, not knowing what the older lad had in his pocket.

 

“So, Harry, is there something special you want to tell me? Do you want to tell me how you’ll miss your old friend Lou once this is over? We only have ten minutes, y’know, so don’t make it long.” Suddenly, Harry got serious. This was it. Maybe Louis thought it wasn’t or maybe he knew – he probably knew – he just didn’t let it show.

 

“Oh goodness, so this is it, huh? A truth has to come out.” He sounded thoughtful. “Lou, you… I want you to know that you mean a lot to me. More than you can possibly imagine. I know it’s insane because we only talked for eight weeks. It’s almost nothing. But you got through me. You walked straight into my heart. I still haven’t decided if that’s good or not because we both know this ends here, in eight minutes. I just… I wanted to tell you how I feel. You deserve to know that much.” He sighed and took a few seconds to prepare. This was it. It was everything he’d never dared to do and now he had to – or he wanted to. Both worked whichever way. “I fell for you. I think I started falling from the day one. You were here and you were you and you were different and you were astonishingly beautiful – just like you are now. And your blue eyes captivated me in some kind of way and I just started falling. Without much of an explanation given. It happened and here I am – completely in love with you. You, Louis Tomlinson, a twenty-two year old lad who’s gone through so much and who’s stuck in prison for another ten years. It’s a long time and I don’t know what I’ll do. I don’t want to think about it. It hurts. It hurts so much, Louis. Thinking that I’ll never be able to touch you, to kiss you, to wrap my arms around you. It’s too much. I fell in love with you, Louis, and somehow, I can’t imagine not talking to you, not being able to communicate in every possible way. I just… I don’t know what to do. You became a part of my routine, a part of my world and I want to keep you in it. I want to have you here. But I don’t know how. I don’t know how I will manage. Louis, please, tell me you have an answer.” They were both crying by now. They didn’t really know the reason. Not really. Louis wasn’t sure if it was because of happiness or sadness. Probably both. Harry just wanted an answer and he just wanted Louis and he just wanted the best for them. But he couldn’t get that. And he was crying with all he had. A simple wish couldn’t come true.

 

“Harry. My dear, sweet Harry. What will I do without you? How will I survive these days without you? It’s not fair, you know. We didn’t talk for so long and here we are – already saying our goodbyes. Do you know how much I wish I could change that? Because, I fell for you too. I fell hard and I don’t know how much I love that feeling. Maybe I’ll be able to see and hear you like this, but it’s not the same. It’s not _that_ and I can’t take not being able to hold you. Like you said, it just hurts. It’s too much for me to handle. I don’t think I can, Harry. And I don’t have an answer to this. I’ll spend ten years here and… and you’ll always be on the other side. Ten years is a long time. It really is and-“

 

“I’m sorry, boys, but it’s time.” Liam came and looked at them with his warm brown eyes that were supposed to comfort them, but has done total opposite this time.  
  
“NO! Please don’t! Give us another five minutes. Please, Liam, please. I’m begging you. We need this. Please.” Liam observed Harry carefully and then sighed in defeat and nodded with ‘only five minutes’ warning. He walked away and Harry turned back to Louis who was biting his lip in nervous manner.

 

“I don’t expect you to wait for me, Harry. Please, promise me you’ll move on. I’m not worth this. I’m a murderer. I don’t deserve you, no matter how much I want you.” Harry stared at him blankly for few long moments before his fury got the best of him.

 

“Forget you? You want me to promise you that? How, Louis? Tell me how because I would really like to know that. I have no clue what to do. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll get over you and maybe I will find someone else, but I can’t promise you that! I’ve never been in love, Louis. It was never this real. Don’t you understand? You’re everything I can ever think about. Right now, you’re the only thing in the world that matters to me. I won’t give up. Not now. I’ll stand by your side and we’ll get through this. I can promise you _that._ ” Harry was confident in his words, even though he didn’t have much of a control in what it was coming out of his mouth. But he didn’t care because he wanted Louis to know. He wanted to prove Louis that his feelings were as real as they can be.

 

“You are the best thing that has happened to me.” Louis whispered. Those were the words that they sealed their agreement with. They’ll be here for each other – no matter what. Harry will still come by whenever he could, even if maybe it isn’t every week. Louis will be here and they’ll fall in love with each other more and more day by day. And even though it’ll be hard, and even though they’ll have to go through a lot of pain, it’ll all be worth it.

 

 

Because of Louis’ good behaviour, Harry got to see him without a glass in front of them after three more months, when they shared their first kiss. Harry got to do it often, guards (especially Liam) letting him get to his lover. And really, they fell in love even more.

 

They said their first ‘I love you’s eight months after they’ve met. They were sitting on uncomfortable prison chairs wrapped in each others’ arms when Louis whispered it into his ear and then Harry did the same. They both smiled and sealed those words with one simple, sweet kiss on the lips.

 

Louis got an offer to cut his time in prison for five years because of his good behaviour. He rejected, saying that he didn’t deserve it and that he still was still able to kill. Harry thought he was nuts and that was when they had their first fight. There were shouting over the phone then. Harry wanted for Louis to be out. Louis thought he didn’t deserve it, so they were at the beginning again. Louis was stubborn.

 

All in all, they stayed together. They stayed together through everything, only falling in love even more. Harry never was happier than in that moment in his life. He met Zayn once Zayn was out of prison and now they were all great friends, along with Niall and Liam. It was a weird group of people – a murderer and to-be-lawyer in love, a crazy Irishman who always made a group laugh, a hairstylist who was trying to be a bad boy but was a softie in a heart and a prisoner’s guard who didn’t care what people had done in the past. And it worked for all of them.

 

Most importantly, it worked for Harry and Louis. Not quite, not the way the completely wanted it, but it was almost fine.

 

It only took them eight weeks, eight days and eighty minutes to fall in love.


End file.
